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BBC Demands Equality Act Pope

February 13, 2013

The BBC regards whiteness as “hideous”, not in them, only in other people. Therefore, the Beeb is pushing the Vatican to elect an African pope, but it would settle for an Asian one or a Latin American pope, worst case scenario.

Ideally, the conclave would be obliged to elect Benedict’s successor according to the stricture of the Equality Act 2010. In order to comply with the BBC’s demands, the next pope should comply with all nine “protected characteristics” of the Act. Therefore, the next Holy Father should be an:

African, transgendered, lesbian, blind, Muslim in a civil partnership (aiming for marriage) who will not be able to start till 2014 because she’s pregnant and will be on maternity leave.

That’s eight of the nine. I’ve left out elderly because the BBC is not keen on old people as they tend to be reactionaries and therefore of no use to the revolution. The BBC would probably be okay with a 30-year old.

In addition to her “protected characteristics”, the new pope, Pope RoeWade, should give up the medieval mumbo jumbo for proper beliefs, e.g. AGW, and population control . The universal Church already knows about global communion and care of the poor.

Notwithstanding the BBC, I like to listen to Cardinal Arinze and fully support his suggestion that people should crawl on their bellies to receive Communion. Sadly, he’s 80 and thus a non-starter. Please God the liberals are right that Popes Blessed John Paul II and Benedict XVI have stacked the deck with conservatives so that we’ll get more of the Church teaching the world and less of the world teaching the Church.f

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